T-Shirt Friday, April Showers Edition, 2010

If anyone were ever to invite me to a baby shower I can’t see myself sending anything more than a sympathy card.

However, thanks to my fave Donna Barr, I at least have something to wear if I deliver it in person.

Here’s the original image on Donna’s Deviant Art site.

T-Shirt Friday, February 2010 — Uncle John’s Band

I’m not a Dead head. I didn’t even know, when I bought this shirt at the 1993 Gay Rights March (see the last paragraph of this previous T-Shirt post) that the slogan was from a song and the song was sung by the Grateful Dead. If it’s not classical music, as a rule, I don’t listen to it, but oddly enough the two pop performers I ever play in the Sledmobile’s tape deck are Jimmy Buffett and Crosby Stills & Nash, who both covered it. So eventually I had to notice.

Your guess is as good as mine what the lyrics mean; but why is it that baffling, obscure poems are sometimes just the ones that make your throat close with weird longing — like the dreams where some important truth, woven into the random images and happenings, slips away with the last tatters of sleep?

I used the shirt as a seat-back cover in said Sledmobile until it shredded from sun-rot — you only realize in retrospect that something like this has memento value. It gave a righteous sentiment some exposure, and I enjoyed the moments when people tried to collate a straight married female woman with a gay-rights shirt showing two interlinked Mars symbols — I never could resist a little whiff of gender-fuck. Eventually it got folded away in the bin of things we all have that are no longer serviceable but remain part of our history. Two back to back blizzards will lead you to poke into bins like that, to make sure you’re saving things for a good reason.

I hummed the song all day long. I like the way the Coral Reefers do it.

T-Shirt Friday, September, 2009: I Almost Blew It

It is painting week at the House of Sled (before and after pictures going up soon) and I almost forgot it was also the last week of the month. Nursemyra’s tradition of T-shirt Friday is a favorite of mine, and I had this one all set aside.

T-shirt Friday Sept09Blowfish

The weapon you see held in my right hand is a Hitachi Twin Head Massager, no longer available because of some complications with the companies that manufactured the patented twin motors. I originally bought one from the dazzling Momentum 98 supplier, previously recommended in these pages as an unparalleled purveyor of high-end massage gadgets, clunky Web commerce design, and enchanting New Age sensibilities.

However, as with all specialty items and small providers, sometimes there is an out of stock problem, and even before they stopped making these things, I had to go questing occasionally on behalf of my clients, who would get a load of the deep-throated vibrations of this thing wrapped around their neck or tennis elbow — kind of like a whale purr — and demand to know where they could buy one.

One year Momentum was out for a while, I forget when, and an Internet search turned up an available supply at Blowfish.com, “Good Products for Great Sex,” purveyors of fine sex products on the Internet since 1995, as I recall one of their other claims.

This was difficult for some of my clients, who balked at mail ordering from a business of this nature, to wrap their minds around. How this two-fisted pummeling device would function as a sex toy in anyone’s repertory was difficult for me to wrap my mind around.

Whatever, I found myself placing a mass order one Christmas with a company whose receipt said Good Products For Great Sex and plunking the half-grand total right onto my schedule C. If anyone ever questions this, I think all I have to do is exhibit the device invoiced. Most of what Blowfish sells is, as they say, the finest of its kind and visibly destined for its intended use, but you’d have to be like the “young girl from Mobile with the snatch made of Bessemer steel” to actually do something lubricious with that. On the other hand, it will totally whap your migraine.

The T-shirt, of course, was irresistible.

T-Shirt Friday in R’lyeh, April 24, 2009

This is the sort of shirt that’s only worth wearing to sci-fi conventions because 99% of the people on the street won’t get it.

cthulhushirt

It was a gift, from someone who knew I am (to put it politely) jaundiced about children, but have been a huge Lovecraft fan all my life. No, I didn’t like kids even when I was Kid Age. According to family legend, I returned from my first and only day at “nursery school” stating that I would never go back because “all they do is fuss and fight and play with blocks.” I would have fed them all to the Elder Gods if I had only known where to find one.

I sport a “Cthulhu for President 2008 — Why Vote For the Lesser Evil”? bumper sticker, and I can’t bring myself to take it off because of the one double-take I get every three months in some parking lot or other.

For those who share my perverted tastes, if you haven’t run across http://www.cthulhulives.org, their feature silent film of The Call of Cthulhu is worth every penny. I have no real use for roleplaying games, which one and all bore the ass off me, but hats off to gamer geeks who can come up with something like this.

T-Shirt (V-Shirt?) Friday, February 2009

I was going to put up a favorite microbrew shirt, but in Nursemyra’s show-some-skin spirit, and remembering the recent mortgage closing that sidetracked me into a sex shop, here’s a little social barometer from the world famous Good Vibrations of San Francisco. Try wearing this to the local County Fair (I did) and see whose head snaps around.

goodvibes

A sex toy store collectively owned by women (for a quarter century, no less) was something that I guess San Francisco simply had to have. Other parts of the US, probably the most schizoid part of the world when it comes to sex, are not so lucky. Did you know that a while back, The Lone Star State of Texas passed  a law establishing possession of more than six dildos as a felony indicating intent to distribute?

Here’s about a ten minute clip on the subject, all worth watching, though the first few minutes of the late great Molly Ivins gives you the flavor. Not a good state to be a Lone Star in, I’d say.

Oh, What the Hell

You know how one thing leads to another? There is a panda-like, absurdly young engineer who once came across this shirt while helping me chuck out a load of stuff that had quietly passed its sell-by date in the recesses of my cupboards and storage areas. He refused to believe I had ever actually worn it, so I kept it back for the psychologically correct moment. On being reminded of my first and favorite gym while writing my last post, and with this T-shirt Friday thing floating around in my head, I shot a picture to divert him while he’s visiting family over this Purgatorial Thanksgiving holiday.

A bit more PG going on R than the average T-shirt submitted to the fabu Nursemyra, but just so I can say I did this sort of thing once in public.Fifty-four years and one week. Nyaaaah