The Millennium Falcon

I don’t think the Engineer has adopted the name yet, but I’m settled on it. I mean, it isn’t shaped vaguely like a Stealth fighter and it doesn’t actually fly, but when we were bringing it back up the Interstate I said “I bet this thing can do the Kessel run in under eight parsecs.”

(You did see how they ret-conned that in the last trilogy, right? A parsec is a measure of distance, not time, and someone helpfully explained that the Falcon’s drive warped space or something so that the actual distance diminished, like a tesseract. I only waited forty years for that.)

It’s got a touch screen that tells you who’s texting you and lets you answer calls hands-free (he doesn’t, too much of a learning curve), when it’s not displaying what you’re about to back up into. This can be annoying because our driveway tilts down a little and it screams bloody murder every time he backs out, warning him he’s about to run into… the street. Oh well.

It has a Sport mode that corners sharply and accelerates like a jackrabbit, and he kicked that in and cruised over to the next neighborhood where they have a lot of traffic circles, beguiling several minutes with executing tight turns and doing donuts in the church lot.

We are careful methodical people so last weekend we did a test run to make sure he was smooth with using a commercial car charger before he used it for a site visit. We zoomed it around on the riverside parkway to drain the battery a little, fetching up finally in the parking lot of a Wal Mart south of the city. Suburban strip malls are arid, draining places. Someone had set up a folding chair on the grass verge and was sitting there with an infant (thankfully sleepy or perhaps drugged). I don’t know why.

White science-fictiony pillars stood in a quadrilateral arrangement and we tried plugging the car into the first one. It didn’t like his Visa. Second try was okay. We learned that it charged about 15% capacity in as many minutes and that it slowed dramatically as it reached the 100% mark, I gather to keep the battery from exploding. For hours after we left the scene, he kept getting thank-you texts from Electrify America.

The next day he charged three times on a road trip. “There was a bad moment out near Centreville,” he said. “I plugged in the charging cable, my card got declined again and then the cable wouldn’t unplug.” Confronting the possibility of having to call Cooper’s roadside assistance perk on his first excursion, he resorted to the time-honored male method of “wiggle it gently till it slips back out.” “I still don’t know exactly what I did,’ he said.

Electrify America texted him for the rest of the evening.

As soon as he was back he plugged it right into the Juice Box. He can’t get enough of plugging that baby in. It’s a guy thing.

4 thoughts on “The Millennium Falcon

  1. I am trying! The computer can’t seem to detect the chip reader I use with my point and shoot camera, and we’re going to have to reload the drivers, which I’m not up to right this minute, so watch this space. She’s adorable.

  2. My friends who own electric cars are all thrilled with them. Congratulations on joining a growing demographic. It’s my understanding that the battery life is better preserved by usually charging to about 85%, unless you need the full range for a trip.

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