All Hail Fancy Feast

Not the stripper (and yes, there is a badass plus-size burlesque performer by that name), but the canned cat food. I never thought I’d be saying this, but this comminuted slaughterhouse-sweeping gravy-suspended meat collation is my current Gratefulness Object. See, a client who nursed an old cat through the terminal kidney disease of old age brought me the book she came to depend on, and I frantically opened it to the chapter about CAT WON’T EAT ANYTHING. “Cats who reject everything else,” said the oracle, “will sometimes eat Fancy Feast.”

If you are not a cat person, understand that this is pretty much Burger King or Popeye’s for cats, pulverized and pressed-looking fragments of vaguely animal flesh swimming in gluey sauce. The Engineer ran right out to Shoppers Food Whorehouse on his lunch hour. We put the dish in front of Torvald, who was sitting rather glumly on the bath mat in front of the first floor commode — somehow, that was the new favorite place, a bit inconvenient for clients. He looked at it and looked up at us. The Engineer hugged me. I was sad. The Engineer patted me on the back. The Engineer dug his blunt chunky fingertips into my deltoids and forcibly turned me around, a wildly out-of-character act, and there was Torvald ear deep in the dish of soupy crap.

He’s been eating it ever since, at the rate of about three little cans every day. Another client had a case shipped to him from Amazon; he’s got fans, that one. No more turkey baster. The vertebrae have stopped sticking out like nailheads and he trots and leaps and butts me with his head.

No idea why the vet didn’t know about this.

A day may come when his appetite for everything fails. But it is not this day.


7 thoughts on “All Hail Fancy Feast

  1. I’m so glad to hear that Torvald has once more been pulled back from the doors of Valhalla. For those of us who have nursed cats through terminal kidney disease, what is the title of the this book of spells?

    • I linked it to the words “the book” in the post, you can just click there, but it’s Tanya’s Comprehensive Guide to Feline Chronic Kidney Disease. The author is an intelligent cat caretaker who got very aggressive about finding ways to help kidney-cats, and has nursed them in both the UK and US. Loads of information, though most of it doesn’t apply exactly to cats like Torvald with medication-induced kidney failure. But enough of it does.

  2. Excellent! Good to hear that Torvald has found the offering worthy.

    Fancy Feast is indeed da bomb — and so is Tanya’s book (and
    the website
    it’s based on) The site and the CRF Support List helped us keep a couple of CRF kitties in decent fettle.

    Human baby food (meat varieties) is another one of my go-tos with inappetant felines. Gerber seems to go over better than Beech-Nut, and chicken and turkey usually work better than lamb or beef.

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