Desperation Is The Mother Of Invention

Not MORE shit.

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it’s not so bad. The refrigerator I bought a year and a half ago has blown its control panel and, well, it runs, but it won’t defrost itself, so that the motor gradually has become noisier and noisier, only because the frost all accumulates way way in the back of the freezer compartment which has drawers that roll out on rails, you don’t see it, so I read the manual and figured that the thing needed leveling. With what, I can’t think, but I wasn’t about to call a repairman till the inside of the fridge started warming up. At least I still had the phone number of the outfit I called something like twenty years ago for the dryer, who did right by me and everyone I referred to them. Their truck still sports the graphic that caught my eye back then in the phone book: a cartoon refrigerator, endowed with a mocking facial expression, fingers in its anthropomorphic ears, chanting “Nanny Nanny Bo Bo” over a larger caption: “Is your appliance acting up?”

There went my morning. The part of the day I usually spend in the gym. In my continuing project of convincing my neighbors I have lost my marbles, I beguiled the time spent waiting for the repair call in the front yard (it has been a crisp, clear, delightful day) with two dumbbells and a thing that wants me to think it is a kettlebell but is really just a bowling ball bag filled with sand.


Here is my Front Yard Workout:

Thirty kata punches with light dumbbells
Twenty unweighted Good Mornings (a hinge movement from the hips, down and up again)
Thirty or forty upward punches with the dumbbells
Forty Hindu Squats
Ten pushups off a bench
Twenty rows each side with the kettlebell, in a lunge position
Twenty upright rows with the kettlebell
Some bicep curls, after figuring out a productive way to get both hands on the handle of the kettlebell
Repeat the most fun movements until the phone rings telling me that the truck is on its way

It wasn’t bad, of its kind. I can feel it a bit already, at six in the evening. I may do this sort of thing on breaks during long client days when I felt rushed in the gym.

They have to order the panel. Sort of a refrigerator motherboard, I guess. The tech says I can use the fridge again once the frost melts. There are towels all over the floor. He dismantled the freezer drawers to get to the guts of the thing and they will have to come out again for the final repair, so I said just leave them out, and they are in the middle of the dining room rug, next to two laundry baskets full of frozen food and cooler bricks. The cats are confused.

I just want one day when nothing happens. Over and over, all day long.

8 thoughts on “Desperation Is The Mother Of Invention

  1. Our fridge squeaks and squeals and meows and rumbles, and asks us grooo? constantly. Also, all three freezer drawers are shattered wrecks that barely move in and out. Can’t buy replacements, either! I think you might have the better machine after all.
    My Krav never picked back up – lack of interest from anyone but me and new management at the hotel the boss was renting a function room in. Damn, bought my own gloves, too. However, hubby obtained some crazy workout video “T25” and we started that last night. Five different videos, tons of different things in the first one (cardio). We both looked more like we were using one of those dance dance revolution video games, but it certainly was a workout (we closed the curtains so no one saw us flailing about)!

    • This had better be a good machine — I only bought it in the end of 2013 to replace one that was old enough to vote and used to swing its door open spontaneously in an excess of hospitality. But now that everything has fancy electronics, there’s that much more to break down. I mean this thing has an air filter. That you’re supposed to change. And a Sabbath setting in case you are Orthodox Jewish and not supposed to turn on a light on Shabbos. People are overthinking these things.

  2. Pingback: Desperation Is The Mother Of Invention - Reynolds Performance Club

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