A Cat And His Salad

What happened was, I was cleaning the electric drinking fountain that I keep upstairs for Mr. Ferguson and his wife (Mrs. Nickel Catmium-Ferguson), and I realized That’s the third time I’ve heard Fergie get in the litter box and go diggety-diggety-dig.

Fergie is world famous for his love of the litter box — or at least his prim manners about using it — so when he exited the box, then squatted down and tried to do something on the rug (nothing happened) I knew I was in for it.

The first thing you think of in these circumstances is blocked cat, at least if you have seen it in a cat. Boy cats sometimes stop up. Apricat Beezler was a scarred veteran of the condition. Magnesium crystals precipitate in their pee, distilling a horrid sludge that gets impacted exactly where you would least want to be impacted, so that, like an old guy with flaring prostate trouble, they can’t force out a drop, and you hear a ghastly yowl and it is an all-hands-on-deck emergency. But Fergie didn’t yowl. He just seemed puzzled.

I stuffed him in a carrier and shot out of the house anyway.

The vet concurred. He wasn’t blocked. In fact his bladder was empty. Maybe an infection, maybe something idiopathic. Fergie already takes medicine for an irritable gut so it made dismal sense. They wanted, ahem, samples, so it was a day of telephone check-ins about whether the kitty had peed yet. About six p.m. they moved to plan  “B” and did something with a hollow needle that I don’t like to think about, sort of like in vitro fertilization. Until the labs come back, he is on a nasty antibiotic that smells of fake strawberry flavoring (why?) and a long acting pain injection that was supposed to sedate him (not).

Fergie seemed unfazed when I picked him up, but he dearly, dearly wanted to get home, and he was ravenous. This morning he was still ravenous. This afternoon, he leapt on the table as soon as I set down my lunch and went to work on…

… the salad.

I have truly never seen this. Does bladder irritation in cats produce a craving for arugula? He seemed to be preferentially picking out the arugula.

Az, see you and raise you on the asparagus.

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