The Twat Heard ‘Round The World

I guess you could say that is NSFW.

Some years back, when I was still dating my Albino Ex, in the course of a cheerful argument I tossed a tampon at him. You would have thought it had been a grenade. Apparently the idea of Girl Cooties dies hard, even among centrist Republicans who are pro-choice and pro-gay-marriage.

So you can imagine the threat level perceived by Texas legislators when they received credible intelligence that women attending today’s debate on a nitwit abortion bill (roughly, “making Texas a safe place for fetuses who aren’t likely to survive birth for more than 48 hours”) might throw tampons and maxi-pads at the legislators. A purse search commenced, with security officers confiscating menstrual products for several hours before someone realized how ridiculous this made them look. (No cavity searches have been reported. Yet.) And yes, if you have the required carry permit, you can still take your gun into the gallery. Twitter has gone wild. By tomorrow the uproar of quips, hasty artwork, and captioned photos will have girdled the globe several times.

I wish they still made the old style OB Ultra tampons. Apparently, since I stopped requiring any such commodity, the manufacturer yanked this size (you should pardon the expression), producing  a market panic that was like the Twinkie thing only loads more frantic. They were like the Sunday New York Times rolled up. A woman could squat bodyweight-plus without a qualm; one of them would soak up pretty much a whole Tom Collins or the juice from a can of fruit cocktail. I can only imagine what one of them would do in a direct hit on a misogynistic legislator. Honeysuckle Divine, where is your successor?

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8 thoughts on “The Twat Heard ‘Round The World

  1. Something struck me as I read this (well-written) post. Why do people wish to engage in protests and why do some of them wish to escalate a peaceful protest into a physical one?

    • I can’t say I see much mystery there. These women are protesting a law that oppresses them directly, if not them, then their daughters. Back in the day, people protested the Vietnam War because they objected to being sent to have their asses shot off for reasons they regarded as unjustifiable if not downright immoral. People protest because they see someone abusing power to screw them over (or someone dear to them), and they have no intention of taking it silently, if there’s any way to object out loud and force others to pay attention.

      They do, of course, also protest just because it is the vogue, because it makes them feel like they’re part of something, or to get approval from others who are seriously invested in the protest. (“I’m carrying this sign to impress my mom/pastor/girlfriend.”) I think we’ve all seen a bit of that on both sides of any issue. And sometimes they protest because they see their power being taken away. At that point the question becomes whether they were fairly entitled to that power. Obviously I’m in favor of women who believe they are entitled to power over their bodies; the people who don’t want to share their privileges with gays/nonwhites/poor people and show up at Tea Party demonstrations, not so much.

      As for physical escalation — I don’t see that much of that went on at the Texas lege, last night or previously (there was a brief attempt by some people to chain themselves to a railing, which isn’t exactly violent). But I can understand it — probably more than most, because when I’m not being listened to, or scoffed at, or treated as if I don’t count, or someone is fucking with my life just because they can — all things that certainly applied to this instance — it’s very difficult for me to restrain the desire to hit. And I mean roundhouse, slam-you-to-the-ground, bloody-nose-and-broken-bones hitting. Tampon throwing wouldn’t even be in it. Like Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk in The Avengers, “I’m always angry.” For some of us, not getting physical is the challenge. It’s not a wish, it’s a barely repressible instinct.

  2. I’m with you on the ‘Do not maim…do not maim’ mental mantra. Mostly I don’t hit because I have wrists like chopsticks: useful, never broken, but not up to being the lever to lift an engine. And… Exactly HOW violent is it to be pelted by soft absorbent cotton? Not nearly as bad as a shoe, for instance. And being as women are allowed – nay, expected – to wear high heels, that’s a way more damaging ‘feminine’ weapon. What a load of codswallop.

    • You can kill someone by jamming a stiletto heel into his temple hard enough. Fact. I can’t wear em, though.

      The gag pics have been amazing — try that #tampongate hashtag on twitter.com. The tampon bandolier might become a fashion accessory.

      • Oh dear. You can also do massive amounts of damage to a shin and instep, apparently. I also don’t wear them. I actually own two pair, but they come out ONLY if I know I won’t have to walk, or stand. That seems an awfully huge and stupid limitation, doesn’t it? For what, exactly?

        I also have no need for feminine products as the coil has pretty much shut my ‘bits’ down (thank fuck). But… A tampon bandolier sounds like it would threaten the shit out of many men, and make many a woman laugh until she peed herself.

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