Things To Leave Out For Santa

If merciful, he’ll take them back.

A couple of this year’s must-have gifts. The world is getting weirder.

1. Stick It In Your Ear

2. No Tasteful Comment Possible

Having a stressful day? Grab a banana!

explains the catalog copy:

Here’s one more way bananas are good for you! Soft and squeezable,

this elastic plastic version helps you work out all the “kinks” in your day.
I am just sitting here thinking of kinks. The imagination reels.

4 thoughts on “Things To Leave Out For Santa

  1. Does the banana ‘do’ anything else? Because if it doesn’t vibrate, it just looks like a dog toy, or reminds me of this:

    I was just subjected to at least an hour and a half of CBS commercials. I’m astounded at the way they talk down to the consumer in the US. While funny is appreciated, it’s mostly the funny found in sitcoms; based on misunderstanding and stereotypes. Yuck.

    • If almighty God made a non-slip banana, why the hell can’t he take care of my front walk in the winter?

      I don’t have a TV, so I only see these things in the gym, in pantomime, and have to look them up on Youtube if I want to know WTF this is about. I read a long time ago that American Network TV and commercials gear themselves toward the mental age of about twelve. It’s upsetting to think about.

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