There’s A Story We’re Not Hearing…

…somewhere in this.

From the Hampton Roads Daily Press:

…four [adults], who were taken into custody in early May, are accused of tying [a 15 year old girl] to a tree at Big Bear Campground, off Whispering Pines Trail in Windsor. They allegedly tied her down with ratchet straps, doused her in beer and threw eggs at her, according to the Isle of Wight Sheriff’s Office.

The defendants are in their late forties, and one is identified as the girl’s legal guardian, who claims that it was all the result of a misunderstanding.

An Easter egg roll gone horribly wrong? Some sort of eccentric exorcism ritual? “Goddammit, Lula Fae, if you play that Pink recording one more time, me’n my bridge partners’re gonna take you out to the campground and throw eggs at you?” Or the girl said “I wanna go to the prom and I need a dress,” and other members of the household just naturally heard it as “I want to re-enact the Death Of Saint Sebastian with raw eggs?”

The world is rapidly becoming too much for my simple mind.

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