My apologies to anyone who turned up here looking for information about the drug. I have a twisted sense of humor.
What it is, is my computer desk has been invaded by microscopic blonde sugar ants, as I used to hear them called, though I am sorry to say that they have no interest at all in the ant bait of honey and boric acid that I put down for them, a ruse that usually works brilliantly. Ants swarm all over it for a couple of days, take the mickeyed honey back to the hill, feed it to the queen and Bob’s your uncle.
Not these pinprick-sized little bastards. They are interested in only one thing, the fragments of peanut that occasionally fall from the protein bars that I eat first thing most days in a matutinal coma as I wait for my e-mail to come in. The result is a bizarre heap of white powder that would set off an anthrax scare in the average office.
And me. They think I’m delicious.
The only time they venture to the desktop is when I am using my kludged wristrest, which consists of two wallpaper sponges. Minute examination convinces me they are not nesting in the thing. They just like my arm. It is getting a little vexing having to tell clients that I do not have some fungoid crud but am being devoured by ants. For one thing, this always leads to a gruesome description, by the average client, of how they are regularly bitten to pieces by mosquitoes, blackflies, etc., turning my days into a rolling entomology seminar that is growing a bit depressing.
I swabbed down the area around the desk and the window, where I think they are getting in, with orange oil, which bugs hate. Most bugs. These little finks probably get high on it.