The Cute Engineer and I have been getting a tandem workout in most every Sunday, and today I decided on the (eponymous, I guess you would have to say) leg sled so as to spare his lower back, which took a pretty bad whack in the icy weather last week.
There was a moron in the nearby corner impressing his girlfriend. When I say “nearby,” I mean he had an assortment of dumbbells and bars scattered in the direct path of anyone wanting to load the sled and was actually doing curls with a 70-pound Z-bar so close to the machine that you had to pivot sideways a little to get past him. The girl was wearing hot shorts and tossing her long glossy black hair around, periodically giggling and speaking in such a high pitched voice that at first I thought a child was in there somewhere.
“You need to move this all over a little,” I said in as neutral a tone as I could manage. He was one of those guys who shaves his head bald in order to look badass and was sporting a white wife-beater shirt. He moved the bar about six inches. This did not really change the evasive maneuvers needed to load for my second set.
“Look, I really mean it,” I said when I could catch his eye again. “If you don’t move this all down about three feet someone’s probably going to get hurt, and I don’t want it to be you and I don’t want it to be me.” Part of that was a lie of course.
He pulled his fucking earbud out and just glared at me. Apparently some people have such small penises that they cannot let their girl friends see even a fifty-six year old lady telling them what to do.
I slapped 630 on the sled and jammed away at it, thinking you know, if I have to ask him again and he gets in my face, his arms are pretty big, but I ought to have enough in me after this set for a good kick to the bridge of the nose, assuming I could get him on the floor, that was chapter one in self defense, though maybe the old testicle torque would be the most disabling thing I could do….
I think it’s the adrenalin. Anyway by the time I finished Stanley and Stella had gone over to the multi-station and he was impressing her with cable flyes. Whatever. It was a remarkably nice day, sunny and barely cool for February, and I was just glad not to have more of it cluttered up with some asshole’s male ego.
I run into this now and then. I haven’t tried “Would you let some jerk crowd your mama when she was blowing up a fully loaded sled?”, but I probably should.