Hors De Combat

I bought it at a massage convention in 1998.

Twelve years and three months with a week off every quarter, about twenty-two clients a week. [Fumbles with calculator] I get 12,936 hours of pummeling before an adjustable massage table headrest disintegrates — right under a hapless professor of anthropology, I am sorry to say — into stripped screws and sprung hinges.

My hands are holding up pretty well when you look at it that way.


8 thoughts on “Hors De Combat

  1. Oh I’m fine. The professor of anthropology got a little jolt when the hinge broke.

    It’s got all that hardware so the head rest can tilt to open up the back of a person’s neck while they have their face in it. Much nicer working on the shoulders like that.

    I might have been hurt if I’d tried to fix it. The other hinge aleady broke two years ago and we had to do a hardware store jury rig. I ain’t going there again.

  2. It is amazing that your hands, wrists, elbows, shoulders could take that beating but that the metal hinge couldn’t. I know you use leverage, but what a testament to the miraculousness of the human body!

    You give “crackin'” massages, lady! 😉

  3. Well the human body is self renewing which is more than you can say for hardware. And I’m not actually even pushing on their heads, but at around 15 pounds, the heads are weighing on the springs and hinges.

    Human structure is pretty amazing actually. We seem fragile, especially in an age of machinery, but I believe the human tibia is rated for shear force in the thousand of pounds — it takes mass multiplied by velocity in that range to break it, like in an automobile impact or when your parachute doesn’t open fully.

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