Ho Hum

This could revolutionize Washington.

Can Humming Ease Sinus Problems? – NYTimes.com.

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of living here, D.C. is not only the nation’s capital but in the running for its allergy capital. Pollen, photochemical grunge, and mold-coddling damp combine to create a city of snufflers and snorters. Nary a month goes by that I don’t teach my infamous douche-bag Neti technique (also known as “up your nose with a rubber hose”) to someone.

Now we find that humming generates a fifteen-fold increase in the flow of  nitric oxide through your sinuses, which apparently helps them clear. Gym rats like me worship NO already because it is involved in relaxing and opening the blood vessels that supply striated muscle. Pfizer pharmaceuticals is probably also fond of the stuff because the same relaxation of blood vessels facilitates erections, which is how Viagra gets the job done (cue the sound of stock splitting six ways to Sunday).

If this humming thing works, I look forward to the city’s subway cars and Federal agencies, yea even the floor of Congress, vibrating with a gentle susurrus as congested denizens of the capital area work earnestly at clearing their passages. As for the possibility of exhaling nitric oxide close to other organs with a recorded response to the chemical, I can only imagine what it will do to the city’s thriving escort business. Come to think of it, some of those incoming freshmen may never make it to the floor of the House at all.


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