Apparently the latest craze in vehicular ornamentation involves little stick figure decals that you select and apply to your car window to show that it is the conveyance of One Big Sappy Family. I will be rolling up to a signal and see on the rear window in front of me a little stick mommie, stick daddy, stick brats of graduated sizes and maybe a stick doggie. The one that sported a stick kittycat almost made me forgive this new low in nauseating self-congratulation for having reproduced, but really, I find it the most obnoxious thing since “Baby On Board.”
Possibly it’s because the windows where I behold these stick families — all beaming with saccharine smirks — are invariably the rear windows of big honking SUVs or overpowered pickup trucks with caps. People who drive small town cars or even midsize sedans don’t seem to feel the need to broadcast how much of the world’s diminishing resources they are staking out for their own DNA.
And most likely it’s just the stick figure thing. I gag when anyone tries to convey a message with stick figures, unless it’s on the XKCD page (where they don’t have smiles, or even faces). It’s so self-consciously “childlikeness is truth and beatitude! Let’s all adore it!” when you know that childlikeness, in its pure unvarnished form, is actually the kid inside that SUV even as you approach it, vomiting his Happy Meal all over the cloth upholstery while his younger sibling squalls nonstop in the infant seat and Mom swerves near-miss around a passing cyclist with her cell phone glued to her ear.