Protected Tweets

The internet is a dumbass place sometimes.

I have a teensy weensy Twitter account that I hardly use for anything except a real-time news feed from some local sources (can’t beat it for weather and traffic) and very sporadic exchanges with elite Netheads like Azahar.

My friend Zeus just joined Twitter on somewhat the same principle, and I noticed he had protected his tweets. Invitation only, like an Embassy party. I didn’t know you had that option, but the next “Zelda Blortch is now following you” e-mail I got from Twitter Central pushed me over the line. The last three Zelda Blortches that have done that have been apparent bimboes with strings of numbers in their Twittername who think it’s cute to transpose letters in half the words of their stunningly inane and inconsequential Tweets about hot guys and shopping trips. What interest they could have in following me, much less 1200 other people, I don’t know, unless it’s some sort of gravely convoluted spamming scheme.

Don Mills, I think we have another Young Person Trading Card for you.


11 thoughts on “Protected Tweets

  1. I still get some of those, and no I don’t really know what the option is for, but maybe it does limit a bunch of the skankity types. I still decline and mark a lot of stuff as spam.

    I really don’t get this tweeting thing yet.

  2. I find I have remarkably little to Tweet but if I jiggled my head a little bit, I would be sending out links to things that aren’t quite consequential enough for a whole blog post — just haven’t cultivated the impulse. Reading tweets from the local weather, classical music station, and news outlets has become edifying.

  3. “with elite Netheads like Azahar”

    The other day I was referred to as one of the Twitterati, which I thought was pretty funny.

    I don’t know that the spambots have any purpose other than to be annoying, or to spread viruses. You’ll still get them requesting an invite even if you protect your tweets. Anyhow, they aren’t real people.

    The ones you really have to watch out for are DMs that seem to come from someone you know and say stuff like “Ha, is this you?” with a link. If you click on the link it allows your account to be hacked and lots more of these DMs go out, this time from your account. Again, hard to see the point or what purpose this serves, but I’ve never understood the mentality of thugs or vandals.

    “Reading tweets from the local weather, classical music station, and news outlets has become edifying.”

    And of course me and WeeRascal carrying on about FOOD. 🙂

  4. Haha … just read (and retweeted) this:

    “Facebook is the people you went to high school with. Twitter is the people you wish you went to high school with”

  5. Ah, well, I tweet in the same way I talk – to update those around me as to what I’m thinking and feeling. Its just that now I’m living in Australia rather than the UK, a lot of those people are only virtually around me, via the power of the interweb… However, I draw the line at any tweets on what I’m eating because, since I’m really no foodie, they would be incredibly banal. 🙂

  6. Half the time I forget that twitter even exists, and when I do think of something to tweet is always when I am far away from the computer. But, with 12 whole people following me, it seems pointless anyway.

  7. I did try it a couple years ago and swiftly lost the point. Then a bunch of online friends did it and tried to explain the appeal and failed. Now I don’t know if anyone I know does it or not.

    Nor do I see the point of getting little updates from local radio. that’s what the car radio is for.

    I would modify it to say,

    “Facebook is the people you went to high school with. Twitter is the people who dropped out of your kids’ high school.”

    • Well, I’d say don’t knock it until you’ve actually given it more than a quick try.

      I’ve not only met some good friends there but also some very valuable business contacts. I have two Twitter accounts – one for biz, one personal – and have found it to be an excellent social media/marketing tool. Microblogging is surprisingly effective for making and maintaining connections. But as with all tools, you have to use them properly in order for them to work.

      If all people want to do is post nonsense and follow others who do the same, then that will be their Twitter experience. Garbage in, garbage out…

    • I picture her with long (blond?) hair, maybe a color streak, a little heart tat and a toe ring, wearing a tube or tank top printed with some nauseating girly design. And her name is probably not so much Zelda as something like Kaylee or Breanna or Kimmie.

      I really don’t think she’s part of a spam setup — there are no links or spam hooks, just the timeline of a life that would make any thinking person slit her throat if someone told her she had to live it. Shops, clothes, social gatherings, boys, and boredom are prominent features.

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