G Whiz, Officer

Renal Failure recently blogged this matter, so I risk being regarded as a cheesy imitator, but then, how often is it that a whole gender gets told by a bunch of condescending scientists that they are only imagining their bodily experiences?

Um… pretty often in history, actually. We could be here all night. Instead I yield the floor to Dr. Susan Block:

How did Drs. Burri and Spector reach their snarky, international, headline-screaming conclusion that the G-spot is “probably a myth,” a “fiction” virtually forced upon innocent, G-spotless women by nefarious “magazines and sex therapists”? They did a survey of 1,804 British female twins aged 23-83 who answered questionnaires about whether or not they had G-spots. Or thought they had them. Or could find them. Or enjoy them. Or something. What a way to run a treasure hunt.

It just goes to reinforce my commonsense observation that scientists, far from being necessarily as objective as they’d like you to believe, are like other human beings — a mixed bag, some of them captive to social preconceptions and/or their own neuroses, some of them able to wade in (why does every metaphor I use end up sounding suggestive here?) and come to grips (dammit) with the realities in a sincerely curious and constructive way.

There was a time — does anyone remember it? — when doctors debated whether women’s menstrual cramps were real, or whether they were a psychosomatic manifestation of women’s discomfort with their own sexuality. Seriously. This was discussed with a straight face in “Soon You’ll Be A Woman” pamphlets that were floating around when I was a kid. My health teacher in seventh grade explained what masturbation was and said it wasn’t a good idea to do too much of it because then you wouldn’t be satisfied with your husband. I had a client whose first child came rocketing out projectile-style into the lap of a completely unprepared obstetrician, who had been telling Mom all through her pregnancy that, as a marathon runner, she could expect a long, miserable labor and “we’ll be here all night.” There is no end to the malarkey that “experts” have uttered about human bodies, especially women’s.

Some women just naturally do the G thing. Some don’t. Some don’t and then find it happening, or decide to learn how and dig it. How hard is that for science to understand? Are we really on the edge of a precipice if we start a light-of-day conversation about what people do with their genitalia (and what their genitalia do with them)?

Leave it to Dr. Suzy to settle the matter sensibly. Which, of course, requires grappling directly with the sexual subject of inquiry, something that is still, in this allegedly enlightened century, Not Safe For Work Or Newspapers Or (apparently) Research Grants.


13 thoughts on “G Whiz, Officer

  1. And then there’s this furore in Australia right now about female ejaculation…..

    “The ASP suggests that the Board is banning these films on the grounds that these are depictions of urination (I’m not kidding) and furthermore that the depiction of female ejaculation is “abhorrent”. Male ejaculations, they protest, are still okay, resting in the nice wholesome but restricted category of the X rating.

    Outraged Ms Patten says the guiding reason for the Board’s tendency to refuse classification in the female orgasm instance was that the Board’s members believed the science around female orgasm was dubious.”


  2. I love “Despite most female ejaculation in porn being faked, the real thing is believed to exist.” (Doubtless the same could be said about female orgasm in porn and everyday life.)

    • They always ask the wrong people. I mean, someone decided at one point in the 1950’s that a woman should not be hired for a job where she might have to lift more than 35 pounds, they didn’t ask me about that either.

      • HA! This reminds me of an annoying co-worker who constantly whined about her latest health crisis not to mention the most menial of tasks. She seemed to get off on delegating the crappiest errands my way…Anyway, one day she bitched about having to lift a box which was addressed to her boss. “They should have realized my uterus could fall out,” she said with a serious face.

        I almost fell out of my chair. Perhaps that is the real reason behind the 35lb limit?

        • Florence King, in her memoir “Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady,” describes a cousin who was trying hard to be the real thing, who was sure her “womb was gonna fall out” right on the Boardwalk in Dahlgren, Virgina and went into a pornographic squat over a pickle jar right out there in front of everybody. I can’t think what they tell these girls.

  3. When I was sixteen I bought a book on finding your G spot and my mother confiscated it along with a copy of Toxic Parents. I would assume she was in denial of both?

    As for menstrual cramps, gay gossip blogger Perez Hilton posted about a certain deceased actress’ painkiller script to help ease the agony endured on a monthly basis. He casually wrote something like, “It can’t be that bad.”

    Big mistake. I kid you not. Let’s just say he was verbally assailed by a formidable estrogen front. If he’s wise he’ll never open his mouth on such matters again. Actually, if any man is wise…

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