Yes, that kind of bog: for those of the non-UK persuasion, the restroom, the little boys’ room, the john.
There was something about my Brit ex-fiance that not only our relationship but his mind never seemed to get out of the lavatory, resulting in the kind of jokes that are funny the first time and mislead you into thinking a person has an amusing rough side when he is really just a case of arrested development. He got points for creativity though.
One day over the transatlantic cable he told me how he had been having some sort of phone conversation about aquatic life and the subject of dogfish came up. His interlocutor, mishearing a dental as a labial, said “What’s a bogfish?” And, he said, “…I thought, well, what do you find swimming around in the bog — if you’re not careful?”
It was funny the first few times he said “Bogfish!” instead of “Shite!” but then he sort of turned it into a religion (supposedly the bogfish were all going to rise against their oppressors and cause chaos by clogging the plumbing and it was the Coming Peril; well, Britain hasn’t had a good plumber since the Romans left) and he wrote an anthem and everything, and having an invincible musical bent I found myself humming a spirited march tune to go with the lines and to this day the phantom piccolo riffs and brass columns come back to haunt me.
You bogfish of the world, UNITE!
Fight the good fight with all your might!
Rise up! rise up! Don’t be a load of shite!
Bogfish unite! Don’t loaf there in the can,
Come forth to meet your destiny,
Rise up and hit the fan…
This is what happens when a person lives too close to the flight-path from Heathrow, I think. I can’t even reconstruct what I saw in him anymore but that damn tune runs in my head.
I hope he found true love with someone.
Princess is on the record as claiming that the sort of toilet “set” you have pictured is “the tackiest fricken thing i have ever seen!”
They have them in Bunnings (our barn-style hardware chain) in this fish tank design, BUT also in barbed wire and… wait for it: jellybean designs.
What sick bastard sells a toilet seat with jelly beans embedded in it?
I can just imagine little kids spending many a frustrated while in Aunty’s toilet trying to lick their way through the toilet seat to those jellybeans…
Do they come in different designs, like the Great Barrier Reef variety and the Carib variety etc? The fish toilets, I mean, not the jelly beans.
I think jelly beans are the nastiest candy ever invented.
When you referred to bogfish in an email last night I truly thought you were talking about a style of beer or something consumable.
Anyway, when I lost my colon I often found myself constructing ditties about the joys of a temporary colostomy bag! It helped me to cope! SO your story, well, the shit hit home!
As for that toilet. Not a good idea if you have cats unless you enjoy spending time fighting over the loo.
I hate to say this but my ex fiance would have been all over that with something about bagfish.
Nooooooooooooo —–>>>>
Now I understand why he is your EX fiance.
oh good lord. I apologise on behalf of all English people.
It’s all right woo, I spent about twelve weeks over there and recognized that he was only one sample of British manhood.
One of the folks in his drama group told me as it was all melting down, “He’s got a brain the size of a planet, but maybe that’s why he can’t pull his head out of his bottom.”
I’d love to have that toilet seat! But I admit the whole deal is a bit OTT.