Back in the early days of 1990, I flew out to Los Angeles, CA — Beverly Hills in fact — for a lengthy and obnoxious surgery that I didn’t trust anyone local to do, and during which, being conscious and under a spinal block, I sang obscene parodies of Gounod until the anesthesiologist decked me. That is a story for another time but as I was loafing around West LA waiting to be cleared for a return flight by the surgeon, don’t you know that this motherfucker made national headlines with his arrest by the FBI, during which he uttered the immortal disclaimer, “Bitch set me up.”
I’m in Westwood with fifty seven stitches in my chitterlings, trying to find a way to beguile the time in a balmy eighty-degree January, and whenever I explain to anyone that I’m from Arlington, which is just south of Washington, DC, I get asked “Is your mayor really a crackhead?” And I keep having to patiently repeat:
1. He’s not my mayor.
2. Yes.
Put that together with a semianesthetized rendition of “My uncle sleeps with a kangaroo; Oh, what a hell of a thing to do!” and you have to wonder how I got out of there with a brain left in my head.
How the hell does he keep this up?
D.C.’s Marion Barry arrested again
- Story Highlights
- U.S. Park Police charged former mayor with misdemeanor stalking
- July 4 arrest came after woman complained to police about Barry
- Incident happened in Anacostia Park in Washington
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WASHINGTON (CNN) — Former D.C. mayor, now Washington councilman, Marion Barry has been arrested again.
Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry was arrested July 4 and charged with stalking, police said.
On July 4, the U.S. Park Police arrested Barry and charged him with misdemeanor stalking.
About 8:45 p.m. in Anacostia Park, a Washington woman flagged down a Park Police officer on patrol and pointed to Barry, who was in another car. The woman said Barry was stalking her, Park Police spokesman Sgt. David Schlosser said.
Barry was taken into custody, processed and released, but he must make a court appearance for the charge. A court date has not been set.
Life would be a lot less delightful without “I’m the King!” Marion. The Post probably would have folded were it not for Marion Barry in the late ’80’s.
I moved away from the DC area and feel a certain loss not being in close proximity to His Honor the Snort Monster. He raised patronage and corruption to a low art.
I get asked “Is your mayor really a crackhead?” And I keep having to patiently repeat:
1. He’s not my mayor.
2. Yes.
Sled! It’s LA. They were proud of him, and proud just to know you!
Hey, I can use my “every good story needs a villain” quote here too!
Though Barry sounds more like a buffoon.
See, I don’t understand how he keeps getting elected. Must have something to do with name recognition.
I never did understand how they convinced the jury with the “bloody glove doesn’t fit” argument. I can only conclude that no one on that jury has ever had leather gardening gloves, which get wet and then stiffen and shrink slightly when they dry out, and which fit just fine once you work them on your hands.
That was OJ. Marion just toked up in front of Federal agents, and later got a blow job from a jail visitor, but no word on whether a “glove” was involved.
Latest news flash is that Hizzformeronner is stumping for the addition of ex-offenders as a protected class under the DC Human Rights Act. This is not hard to fathom.
Though to be fair, it sounds like the honey he was “stalking” isn’t wrapped too tight either.
His was also the single dissenting vote when DC voted to recognise same-sex marriage.
(I’d never heard of the guy till I saw this story on Pam’s House Blend this morning.)
TRiG.
Yup, I noticed that in his Wiki article. Said it violated his moral compass, or something. First any of us ever knew he had one.
Sorry you almost ended up in my spam folder, Timothy. I better check it more regularly.
What about the guy who loses to Marion Barry in these elections? How bad a platform do you have to run on to lose to a crackhead?
Ward 8, where Marion wins over and over, is saturated with people who direly resemble him.
Actually, it’s pretty sad. The Wikipedia entry about him is pretty fair and balanced (sorry, Fox News), and if you skim it you get an idea where he’s been: civil rights activist at a time when people refused to let black people tutor white kids, founding member of the SNCC, shot nearly to death in a hostage crisis. Things like that keep the voters buying into him even when he acts or talks like a total buffoon, which he gets better at every year. People have broken down under a lot less stressful history — the tragedy is that he seems determined to hang in there no matter how much of the city’s credibility goes down with him.
It’s hard to believe, but it is true. There is a very deep reservoir of good will and affection for Marion Barry in DC. It will be very hard to beat him.
Voters (sort of) turned him out for Sharon Pratt Kelley (nee Dixon) and she was a disaster beyond description. He is viewed as the guy who stood up to the congressional control board (why and where $800 million went was never really answered but that’s beside the point anyway), and DC folks think of him as the guy who “restored” their rights.
People know what this guy is but he’s their crackhead, he’s their crook, he’s the guy who hauled the weight back in the day when they needed jobs and he made it happen, or so it looked that way.
The other thing is that Marion is a known quantity. He will vote and work in just one way. That makes him easy to work with and dependable to even his opponents. In short, he’s the crook you can trust.
Besides, DC was a land run by crooks for forever. By comparison to the not forgotten Boss Shepherd, Marion is a saint.
There’s a local fruit here called a “marionberry,” and I find this fact disproportionately confusing whenever I hear this guy talked about on the news.
Then again, I’m living in a town that may very well recall its mayor, thanks to his very probably lying about having an affair with his underage intern, astonishingly named “Beau Breedlove.” I mean … srsly.
Male or female intern? With a name like Beau it’s hard to tell.
But he is good looking. So that’s alright, then.
TRiG.
A bit too depilated for my taste, but I guess he’s not too concerned with my taste.
Male. We elect an openly gay mayor, and next thing we know, he’s having an intern suck him off under his desk.
Oh, wait … I guess that happened at the White House, too.
I have to think you’d keep bumping your head, wouldn’t you? I mean if you were the intern.
Well, it would depend on the height of the desk. And, you know. The length. Of. Other things.
Why has this sort of heh heh probing question never been asked in an interview?
Now we’re back to the old Singapore Sandwich issue.
Misdemeanor stalking? What does one have to do to make it felonious or at that point does it usually go straight to murder.
I have to admit, I miss this guy. I left the DC area the 2nd time he was elected. I had to get out. Everytime I hear his name, I think of his famous quote “The B@$ch set me up”!!
My friend Zeus linked on his blog today to a page offering DC Scandal Tours that include the Vista hotel, where the B@$ch set him up.
http://www.gnpcomedy.com/ScandalTours.html
Classic! I forgot the Mayor for Life slogan. Makes me laugh everytime I hear it!